Apparently Jesus wants me to notice something. It seems I can't quite shake last week's fitting in themed post.
The other day Hubby and I met up with a friend. Both Hubby and Friend are ENFP's on the MBTI, so occasionally they find shared similar struggles. Me, the ever ISFJ, observe, reflect, and wonder as they empathize with one another on the burdens of ENFP-ness. On this particular lovely day at Starbucks around the corner they were discussing finding work that fits. As ENFP's it can be difficult to find employment that maximizes their intensely intuitive relational skills. Often times tasks like those are a small footnote on a job description filled with a long list of administrative tasks, often draining to their personality type. I related as they talked -- as I've stumbled my way into my current career(s) I've felt the pain of not knowing where my dual right/left brainededness fits.
Listening to their conversation I recalled my own frustration of not being able to find a fitting official job description or title. The frustration of having to try (and fail) at things that sort of fit, to find my way to the right ones, surfaced. And I don't feel I've "arrived" at my final vocational destination, even now. So I wonder if it's less about "nailing it" the first time, and more about being willing to make a mess while figuring it out.
So what am I afraid to make a mess of? Well, one thing is PhD work. Afraid to ask my husband to move across the world with me (which he would in a heartbeat) and fail. Afraid to apply and get denied. Afraid to get accepted, and then not have the scholarships to pay for it. Just one thing, of many, on my mind lately.
What's the worst thing that could happen? I could get rejected, flunk, or get denied funding. And the world would carry on. We would survive. Maybe I should try making a mess of it -- who knows what Jesus and I would find on the journey.
What are you afraid to make a mess of?
Where are you afraid to fail?
May we fail forward, together.
Thanks for reading. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.