Days like today, where many in the country have the day off from their 9 to 5 job, I sometimes struggle to know what to do with myself. My work is my passion and my hobby, so what do I do with downtime when my up time is my downtime?
It's difficult to know how to recharge and rest well at times like this for me.
So today I'm trying something new: letting my rest be my exploration rather than my production. Days of work and doing are filled with creative output. I'm experimenting today with if sabbath days are days of feeding my soul and creative inquiry. Days when I stop trying to sort it all out and see what fits and edit down. Days when I throw caution to the wind and let myself fail into discovery.
The analyzer in me likes to be productive. Although that's helpful in getting things done on work days, days like today I need to disconnect and allow myself to be--to experience love and care even when I'm not producing, which is the deeper issue with my busyness. When I don't take time to be I am running off of fear of being left out, fear of being left alone or fear of being left to survive by myself.
The art of sabbath is me saying, "Jesus, I am scared if I don't produce I won't be provided for. But I am leaning into You today because you say I'm precious and your beloved." And this still small space of rest and some quietness is where I often best hear him say, "I am with you."