CHRISTINE LEE SMITH

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Impossible  |  Thoughts on Falling in Love Again

12/13/2015

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We're old friends, you see. We met long ago when I uncovered it on a dusty bottom closet shelf. Instant chemistry. I was smitten. My first love was a Canon AE-1.

It wasn't left there for me to find. It didn't have my name on it. It wasn't even my dusty closet. But it's owner discarded it into my waiting hands (once I confessed I "found" it digging through my dad's dusty bottom shelf belongings).

So I did what was necessary: I learned photography and that camera as best I could so we could creat wonderful amazing things together.
Picture
And then, around 12-years-later, I did what was possible: I started a business with a newer model camera. I've loved it for many years. Then I lost my love among the spreadsheets and tax returns; the deadlines and shoot schedule dramas.
Picture
Now, suddenly, I'm doing what's impossible: I'm falling in love all over again. I'm rediscovering the mystery of photography that first captured my heart through film. And not just one kind of film, but color, slide, b/w, and Polaroid. There may still be spreadsheets, but a deeper level of passion, maybe in the form of appreciation, has returned.

I feel reconnected to my craft as a photographer as I do my part to shoot the image, and wait for photography to do its part in creating the negative. It's a mysterious partnership rekindled by my letting go of all the control of my digital workflow and it's good for my soul. It brings me back to balance inside and opens my hands to the Mystery of life and all that is good and beautiful. I am thankful.
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